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When Magic Affects Your Love Relationship

The wizard made the coin disappear in front of my eyes. My mind told me, “That’s not possible. This is just an illusion!” However, I was unable to figure out my brain’s blind spot. I just knew that there was something wrong with my perception, and that I was missing an important piece of information.

Did you ever ask yourself: 

The wizard and his coin can provide some hints. We might assume that our eyes are not as fast as the wizard’s hands, but studies reveal that our eyes are the predominant sense that captures massive and detailed information. 

The true source of incomplete perception is rooted in our brains. 

Brain processes require a lot of energy.  Therefore, it filters and eliminates information provided by our senses. Just those information pieces, which adjust to our general beliefs are considered to be valuable, while all others are labeled irrelevant. 

As a consequence, we might miss important information without being aware of this mind trap. 

The perception of our partner and our love relationship is manipulated or even worse -- it might be sabotaged. 

We are unable to see clearly the weaknesses and strengths of our partner. Our mind just puts light on his “bad” behavior and blends out the precious qualities he might bring into the love relationship. We just hear the words that our mind wants us to hear, and not the ones he is actually saying. We feel and act based on mental construction instead of facts. We harm and damage our love relationship with misleading assumptions. 

How can you and your love relationship escape this “mind trap?”

1) Become a treasure seeker.

Change your attitude. Mistrust your mind first before your mistrust your partner! Focus on the missing information instead of the information you already have. I know this might seem like a risky behavior change, however, if you are truly committed to your love relationship this will become your most powerful protection from the “mind trap.” It will help you reveal the hidden gem of your love relationship and root your thoughts and decisions based on solid information.

2) Become a star reporter.

Imagine that you want to create an article for a research journal. Train your capability to focus on observations only. As an example, you might note: “he frowned” instead of “he became angry.” The first is an observation while the second is just an interpretation and assumption of the mind.

This will balance your emotional state and create a different impact on your communication as well. Instead of discussing his anger, you’ll tell him about your observation and ask for the meaning of it.

3) Become a writer.

Our brains are able to hold a thought for about two minutes. Therefore, make it a habit to have a little booklet with you to note your observations. This way you also assure yourself that you will overcome the female predisposition of remembering primarily negative incidents and forgetting about the pleasing ones.

What do YOU think about this mind trap? 

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Do you have a friend who is struggling with love issues? Point her to this blog post for support and inspiration!  

 

 

March 13th, 2015

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